Times I wished for more humorous editoralizing

Victim 1 is suing Penn State for their role in the Jerry Sandusky coverup. From the AP article (via ESPN):

Sandusky was convicted in June of 45 criminal counts for sexual abuse of 10 boys, both on and off campus. At 68, he awaits sentencing that likely will send him to prison for the rest of his life.

Likely? The minimum sentencing for him is like 135 years. Just this once, couldn’t they have said something like, “At 68, he awaits sentencing that will send him to prison for the rest of his life, unless we come up with medical technology that allows people to live to be 250 years old, and then we inexplicably give it to some of our worst federal prisoners first, and also he isn’t murdered in prison”?

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